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1.An ombré fleece throw, because this'll make your old couch suddenly look chic and new, even though we really just want it as a cuddle buddy while watching AHS alone.
2.A clear glass drinkware set that'll upgrade your host game if you usually only have mugs. Your proud alumni mug will still be there when it's time for coffee, I promise.
3.A tweed storage basket to neatly keep anything from laundry to unsightly clutter from interfering with your decorating goals. The Chair won't cut it while redecorating.
4.A marble-print shower curtain with chic tassels to easily add a touch of stylish decor to your bathroom — consider it the focal point. Plus, it told me that it thinks your singing is lovely.
5.A velvet floor pillow so you can offer extra seating, even when on a budget and the proud owner of a tiny living room. This'll let your guests comfortably pop a squat anywhere — and what room can't use an upgrade with some luxe velvet?
6.A modern three-bulb lamp with a marble base, because this'll instantly ✨brighten✨ any room — even when the lights are turned off. AND your bank account won't look *dim*? Nobody pinch us.
7.A trio of abstract vases that'll look just as high-end alone if your thumb is the opposite of green. Small apartment or new art gallery? We'll let your guests decide.
8.A cast iron Dutch oven for finally beginning the sophisticated kitchen of your dreams — without the expected price tag. I do believe you're well on your way to living the Ina life you DESERVE.
9.A marbled duvet cover so your room looks immediately polished, despite being on a budget that's yet to *graduate* from your college days. You won't lose sleep over your credit card bill when using this to decorate.
10.A ceramic pot planter, because your leafy friends want a stylish home to call their own. This'll both serve as trendy decor for your living room AND as a humblebrag that you can keep plants alive.
11.A set of stylish kitchen utensils that'll double as a sophisticated touch to your counters when you're not cooking. Oh, you never cook? No one would guess based on these.
12.A duo of rope baskets for keeping clutter OFF your desk without actually reorganizing. It turns out the best way to make your home office look put-together is cleverly hiding all your belongings.
13.A wooden square end table so you don't have to blow more $$$ on living room furniture. This'll look just as nice and serve as a pretty place to show off small decor, instead of having them pile up as a distraction.
14.A set of sheer floral curtains, because these'll ~shed a light~ on your amazing taste (and *not* how much you spent). But seriously, they WILL make the most out of available natural light to help make your room feel airier.
15.A metal rolling cart that'll make your cheap vino look classier than Dom. It's easy to make your home look sophisticated when you take a page out of Don Draper's book.
16.A dark wood polish for undoing even YEARS of scratches and general wear-and-tear on hardwood surfaces. You can even use it to transform your floors from worn-down to sparkling new. Tl;dr: you won't have to replace furniture to update your home.
17.A two-toned chenille pillow so you can cheaply transform your old seat into a fashionable accent chair. Plus, it's so soft you'll gain a new cuddle buddy. It also enjoys Netflix binges — especially Stranger Things.
18.A set of gold picture frames, because these'll turn your living room into the next MoMA by creating an inexpensive gallery wall. Suddenly your family photos look artistic.
19.A decorative mini globe that'll make your home look a little more ~worldly~, even if the biggest trip you've made all weekend is to the door to receive your takeout.
20.A chic metal floor lamp for easily making dimly lit spaces brighter — looking at you, apartments with zero ceiling lights (why?!). And! It'll offer extra shelving as a simple way to ~look~ organized.
21.A floating shelf so you can prevent your thoughtful Pinterest-inspired decor from just looking disarrayed — this'll TRULY show 'em off. Free surface space = naturally pretty-looking home.
22.A Tasty wooden chop block, because this'll be a refined addition to your kitchen that Martha herself would approve of. Its clever non-slip grain design, large juice well, and comfortable handles will have you telling guests to call you "chef" while preparing dinner.
23.A geometric shag area rug that'll greet your tired feet with much-needed fluffy relief at the end of a long day. PLUS! It'll make your living room look a little more *upscale* and actually make your space look larger when strategically placed.
24.A set of LED string lights with *handy* clips for quickly decorating your room before you have time to give up and leave your walls bare. The best part? This won't leave a bunch of holes, like frames and paintings do.
25.A brass hot tool holder so you can chicly organize your bathroom by keeping your counters clear (no mess = bigger-looking space) *and* using this as some sophisticated decor.
26.A set of minimalist bowls, because it's high time you stop eating your cereal from paper plating. Your guests will be FLOORED to see you not only own adult kitchenware, but a sophisticated set at that.
27.A self-adhesive elephant hook that'll keep your keys safe (read: calling the locksmith is EXPENSIVE) while looking stylish as all heck on your wall. Helloooo, unexpected doorway decoration!
28.A stylish metal end table for adding a sophisticated flair to your space without taking up too much room (or spending a lot of $$$). Dare I say you'll feel so fancy, you'll start asking people to use coasters.
29.A sleek toilet brush and holder so you can not only maintain a clean toilet (helpful for feeling ~sophisticated~), but keeping it disguised so your bathroom can stay as pretty as you'd like.
30.A duo of geometric plant hangers, because these'll make your small cacti (real or faux) look much more high-end than before. AND they won't take up room — you can hang 'em on the wall.
31.A bronze wire basket that'll make your fruit look fancy without trying at all. Suddenly, you'll start feeling aristocratic in your own home. What could a banana cost these days? Ten dollars?
Your mom when she learns you redecorated and needs to inspect: