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    Starbucks Closes

    But only for three hours. All American locations were shut down temporarily so that employees could, in the words of one mocking headline, "learn how to make coffee."

    Hopefully, anti-Starbucks crusader Reverend Billy enjoyed his brief respite from battling the tyranny of burnt-tasting java and pleasing adult-contemporary sounds. But he'll have to regroup to fight the chain's sinister "phase two of operation."

    Editorial note: Whoa! You've found a super-old post here on BuzzFeed, from an earlier era of the site. It doesn't really represent where we are anymore, and may in fact be totally broken, but we're leaving it up as a part of our early history.